God will take me soon as he knows my disability

I’m Kusum Gurung from Dailekh and there are many members living together in my family though they are not the relatives by blood but by God’s love. I am the first daughter of my parents.
When I was two years old, I fell down from the top roof of two storeyed building in Dailekh. I wonder how the situation of my parents was and how they coped with the situation. I heard………when my parents were walking on their feet to take me to the city for my treatment, my mother thought that it would be better if the bus would hit all the three of us and kill us than losing their only daughter. we had not got Jesus at that time. No one thought that I would live. all used to say that I would live no longer but my parents tried to save me. They took me to Lucknow in India as there was no good health facility in Nepal. I was unconscious for seven days and on the 8th day, I opened my eyes. But at that time, I had forgotten everything. I couldn’t recognize my parents and forgot. all the words that I used to utter. I got head injury because of which my body got partially paralyzed. But, I became able to live due to the God’s will in my life. After this event, Satan always used to warn my mother by saying that her goddess couldn’t save her daughter from his hands in her recurring dream. At that time, my mother was a devoted Hindu lady.
After some years, some Christ followers shared the gospel to my mother and she accepted Jesus as her savior and a year later after my mother came to Jesus, my father came to Jesus. At that time, I was very small and I had never been near to God’s presence. Though I was very small, I could think of many things and I started to think on my past events. I don’t remember how I became the victim of mental problem. After that, my parents took me to CMC (Christian Medical College), Vellore, South India for my treatment and there the doctor advised my parents to give me life-long medication. While I had been physically growing, I began to lose my desire of living in this earth. When I used to watch others, I would find them happy but myself sad. I had s suicidal tendency in my mind. I couldn’t see the meaning and purpose of my life. I felt myself lonely in school and at home though there were many people. I used to talk with friends very less. I used to feel that I was a burden for my family as I had to ask for the help for the most of my works. Many times, I used to cry in the place where no one can see.
When I stepped in my teen age, the anxiety rapidly started occurring in my mind but I began to grow spiritually near to God. I used to say with Him, “There is no meaning of my living and why I should live.” I used to think, “It’s vain to keep aim about future because I am not going to live anymore, I may die before passing grade 10. I also thought, “God will take me soon as He knows my disability.” In those days when I started to spend my time with God, the desire of living began to grow inside me and I could discover that life is a beautiful gift from God. My mother also asked me to leave medicines at that time as she had a deep faith in God.
Now, I am living in God without any medicine. God didn’t only give me a new life, He blessed me even in my study and as a result, I could top my faculty in +2 and my campus in Bachelor 2nd year. I could complete my study up to B.Ed. in scholarship in God’s help.
Dailekh is the place where I had met an accident in my life because of which my parents had promised to never turn in the place back again. but AMAZING ! ! ! God chose and anointed my parents to serve in the same place. The gladness flows inside me and my eyes well up with tears when my parents say, ‘’Because of you, we got our true God.”
I say that I am happy now though I am weak. Whenever I get success in any area of my life, I start feeling the spirit flowing inside me and my eyes well up. Whatever I am now and whatever I have now is everything from my awesome God. In the past years, I had very less courage to do anything and most of the times, I was very pessimistic about my life. I had an inferior complexity inside me. I was unable to speak freely with the people and in front of the mass. But, now, God has delivered me from my inferior complexity and my fear. He has taught me and is teaching me to speak in front of the people with self – confidence. Although, I am not wise, God is teaching me about His wisdom and knowledge. Likewise, my parents have the vision and mission to serve God, I also have the vision to serve God till my heart beats.
Thus, I was unworthy for His love but He showed His mercy upon me. I was surrounded by the shadow of death but He took me out of that shadow. So, I would like to give all the praise and glory to God. AMEN !!

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